~~ Supernatural ~~~ Doctor Who ~~~ Sherlock ~~ ▬▬▬▬ Other awesome nerdy stuff ▬▬▬▬ ========== Shit that makes me laugh ========== \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ Talk to me. I need friends ;) ////////////////////
Well, it’s official - cancer sucks. One thing about having cancer is you realize how different it is to watch someone go through it and to go through it yourself. Over the past year, I’ve watched my father waste away from pancreatic cancer. Over the past week, I’ve felt the depression wash over me as I look out the window of my hospital room that I’m confined to because I suddenly have Leukemia.
I’ve distantly watched people beat and lose to cancer. Family, friends, aunts, uncles, grandparents. But it’s different when it’s someone in your household. You never realize JUST how emotionally taxing it is for that person and even the people around him. You never realize how dramatically life changes and how completely disruptive it is.
Though I’ve watched my father begin to lose his battle, and though I’ve been diagnosed with my own cancer, I still don’t understand what my father has been going through. He’s going to die. Sooner rather than later. I’m not. Most likely. I have cancer, but it’s highly treatable, “curable” has been said. For me, it’s just a matter of time and perseverance. For my father, no matter how hard and how long he fights, he’s going to lose.
I guess I’m thinking of the cliché of carpe diem. Seize the day. Make the most of your life. Do what YOU want to do. I’m not saying go out and get crazy. I’m saying literally do what makes you happy while you can. For me, I’m still kind of glad I spent a majority of time to myself. I love me time, and I still don’t regret it. It has prepared me for this utter loneliness that I feel right now. It has helped me understand myself better and allowed me to be comfortable in my own head.
I remember telling my friend years ago that I had a funny feeling that I’d end up with some kind of cancer. It seems weird to have thoughts and feelings like that but it was just THERE. And now here I am. I’m hoping this is it for me. I hope I get better and I don’t get plagued with another kind, but you never know. My grandmother, bless that woman, is the epitome of strength and positivity. This woman is the most amazing woman to walk this Earth. Now 84 years old, In the past 10 years, she has had 3 different kinds of cancer. She has lost her husband of nearly 60 years. She is still kickin. She always says “God, put these feet on the ground, and I’m outta here!” She always tells me “My legs aren’t doing too well today” and my response is always “Grammy, your legs aren’t good any day.” Of course she never seems to hear me because she’s basically deaf and she has dementia, but that’s beside the point.
My Grammy is my role model. I will get through this. I’m stuck in a hospital while my mother deals with the impending and inevitable loss of my father, but I will pull through so I can be there for my mom who has always been there for me and so I can try to be just as strong as my amazing Grammy.
you know one thing i’ve always appreciated about the harry potter franchise is that the government is often the bad guys. they’re incompetent at best and evil at worst and yeah, that’s pretty realistic
When I first got into this fandom, I had no idea what to watch and where to watch. So, this is for all the new EXO fans (like I was), everything you need/want to watch to relieve/relive your feels.
1. ALLL the music videos/practices/teasers/trailers: What is Love, MAMA, History, Growl, Miracles in December, Overdose, Love Me Right, Call Me Baby, Lightsaber.. here’s a playlist!
